I Walk The Streets

As I walk the streets of my hometown I start thinking to myself. Why do people say I'm always happy or that I am never sad. That's all lies. Everyday I put on a smile hoping to fool the people in front of me. It does work but it's not the real me. The real me is misery not happy, Depressed not bubbly. All these things aren't really what you see on the outside. Like many people say you can't judge a book by it's cover. So why judge a person if you don't really know what's on the inside? I am on my best friend's proch standing there hoping she won't see me. I start walking off the porch and onto the street. I'm not in the mood to hang out to pretend I'm laughing or pretend I wanna play a certain game because it is so much fun! I wanna sit in my room and think about old times. Like when every night I would wait for him to come over to my house so we could hang out. That doesn't seem to happen anymore. I remember we would always have cheese pizza...that doesn't happen anymore. Now that he is out of my life and gone everything is a mess! I know I should get therapy and maybe that will help but it won't help very much 'cause this will stay with me forever and haunt me always, until the day I die. I am home now sitting on my bed flipping through my pictures and I start to walk to the kitchen. I fall asleep on one of the chairs. When I woke up in the morning all I could see was my mom standing over someone's body...who is it? As I am walking towards her I start screaming and yelling "Mom who died!" She didn't answer me. I see it's a girl by her hair colour...My hair colour. She is wearing the same outfit I did last night before I went to bed. OMG It's me! The ambulance was here now and they found a knife under the kitchen table. It had blood all over it and I notice my body was leaking blood as I was trying to speak to my mother. All the ambulance people started rushing over to the body and my mom trying to get her away from me. What have I done? I have gotten rid of my pain, but starting new pain for someone else. I didn't want to do it. Obviously I did it in my sleep as a nightmare. Before I saw my mom with my body, when I woke up I was going to tell her the crazy dream about how I was reaching for a piece of cheese Pizza and I said "no not the pizza" Instead I reached for the knife and stabbed it into me. I could feel the pain but I guess it was just too much than my understanding. For once in my life I actually felt happy just killing myself. As soon as I did that all my worries went away and for once in my life in a long time I smiled. I thought it was just a crazy nightmare...obviously it was more. I hope my mom doesn't do the same stupid thing the way I did today. I don't want to have more people hurt than what I have cost. But sadly I am not responsible for my mothers actions.

I chose this message because I just think that some people are fake on the outside and are really different than what they seem they are like on the inside. It's not always that way though which is good. :) Oh and also this is not true. I would have to say this story would be a 5/5 in my opinion.